I woke up this morning raring to visit my boxing gym and hit the weights.
I’m fighting my first public boxing match in 90 days, (26th November 2022 – mark your calendars!) and I must put in the work so I can win.
Even though a loss would teach me more than a victory…I’m a sore loser, and I want to savour the glorious moment when the referee raises my fist in the air.
Before I left home, however, my mom called me into her room, and asked me to sit on her bed.
“Uh-oh”, this must be serious, I thought.
I won’t get into the specifics, but here’s what I can share:
She said I was crying last night.
I was astonished. I had no idea I cried at home.
Yes – I cried at least 2 times yesterday – but it was with two of my best friends during the day; and it was because I felt grateful, and happy.
She passed by my room (which was locked) and heard me sobbing loudly.
What’s funny is I had no idea this happened.
I will put this strange incident down to rediscovering my zest for life.
Destroy, then rebuild.
Break ups are messy, and usually complicated. I know someone who is going through a rough patch because they broke up with someone they loved.
The best healer is time. I write from experience, because I unceremoniously got dumped by someone I gave all my love to.
Thankfully, we only dated briefly, which meant we didn’t exchange physical belongings.
Instead, what we shared as a couple were fleeting moments of happiness, intimacy, and – in this modern dating world – a digital trail that occasionally reminds me of her.
The person I know shared more with their former lover.
A roof. Possessions. Memories. A life.
Whilst it hurts to see someone I care about unable to find their feet as a newly single person, I realise I cannot help them until they help themselves.
And this is the single biggest lesson I have learnt over the past 9 months, when the girl I liked disrespected, cheated, and lied to me.
When we began dating, I knew I had to fix myself if I were to make space for someone else in my life.
Someone I gave a damn about. Someone I wanted to build a life with. Someone I wanted to discover new things with.
Which is why – seemingly out of nowhere – when I was smoking a cigarette in my building’s parking lot, the idea came to me:
- I had physical ailments I had to heal.
- I had important relationships I had to rebuild.
- I had sinful addictions I had to curb.
So, what did I do? I put myself through hell.
I embraced pain.
I expanded my comfort zone.
And killed a Karan Sharma I hated.
To make room for a Karan Sharma I loved.
It’s been an educational journey. And it’s going to be a long one. The road to self-improvement never ends.
But, as I’ve experienced before, (as a former music vlogger) when you put yourself on a path which aligns with your authentic self, you meet magical people who bring out the best in you.
Death is inevitable. Which is why I want to leave my mark on this world.
I am keenly aware of my impending mortality. We are blessed with one life, and after murdering a self I disliked, I can now see – crystal clearly – what I must do to leave a positive impact before ol’ Grim Reaper pays me a visit.
And as I turned 29 on the 21st August, I could see Father Time in the distance; nodding at me in approval, urging me to continue doing what I do best:
Creating, living, loving, improving, and motivating.
My 29th birthday was memorable because I broke a tradition I’ve maintained since 2015.
For the past 7 years (excluding 2020 – looking at you…Big C) I’ve celebrated my birthday anywhere but Dubai.
- 2015 was spent in India
- 2016 was spent in Hawaii
- 2017 was spent in Sri Lanka
- 2018 was spent in Romania
- 2019 was spent in Malta
- 2020 – you already know
- 2021 was spent in India
I will probably celebrate my 30th in a different part of the world. Time will tell…
Today marks the end of my birthday week.
And yesterday I met my best friend, who came bearing gifts that were not only thoughtful, but practical. They will come in handy for my White Collar boxing match.
Those are the kind of gifts that tug at my heartstrings. Unsurprisingly, I teared up when receiving them.
I love her. She’s a sweetheart. And one of the strongest women I know. I am grateful to have her in my life.
That is all, for now. Thank you for reading. I will leave you with some photos from my 29th birthday, which I celebrated with my friends – most of whom I’ve known for over 15 years. Precious.
And some from meeting my friends yesterday for a Japanese lunch.